Fights, chicken wings, and the scientific theory

This is the first weekend that I've really done anything in a long time. In fact, I can't remember the last time I put on a pair of heels and went out or had to see someone throw up or pretend to be way to into my conversation and unnoticing of skeezyish guys on the street. It's exhusting.

Friday night I went to my first ever Giants/Dodgers game. Yes, first ever.. I know. It was good until it got really crappy and wished ill on all the Dodger fans around me, with particular negative vibes for the four frat-esque way too LA assholes right behind the Giants dugout. I take solice in knowing that they wer drunk and got in their cars and drove home, hopefully getting a much deserved DUI. I love the Giants but why are they so crappy? And why are they so crappy when it's on the line and matters most? I mean, I'm used to it by now, but I still wonder why... The highlight was actually the fight that broke out on section and a few rows over from our awesome seats. It was between a Dodger fan with a blue and white painted face and who I can only assume was a newish Giants hipster fan in his black and orange plaid hat, brown blazer/jacket, collared shirt and orange sweater. Come to think of it, he was kind of rocking Padres colors. Either way, there couldn't have been two more perfect people to get in a fight that didn't actually involve any punches being thrown. And by that point in the game I was seriously more into than the game itself. Aside from the score, I'd have to say it was an overall good time out at the yard. But I guess now it's gonna have to be 'Go A's!'

Last night was Che's birthday and his last hurrah as a 20-something. Only 364 days until 30, Che. Much to my delight, dinner at Hooters was delicious. I haven't had that much fried food in a while and I couldn't have been happier. Why do spicey fried chicken wings and chili cheese fries go so well together?? And can I just say that Hooters onion rings are awesome. I made a mental note to bring Sam there, boobs and all. The only downside of the Hooters experience was when I was told that our waitress looked like me. I was told it was a compliment because it meant that I could be a Hooters girl and in order to be one one must be at least decent to good looking. Back handed compliment if I ever heard one.. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with our waitress, in fact, she was a really good waitress. But I didn't find her to be all that cute--which is also fine--and more than anything, she had really trashy hair and make up. I know that my make up was not up to par last night but it wasn't anything close to being trashy.

After dinner we tossed around a few ideas of where to go and after some unneccessary drivng, some phone calls and a too long line for $20 cover we ended up at Element, a trusty stand-by. Hadn't been there in a long time so it was cool to go again. Didn't drink much but I did test out my theory about diet coke v coke in cocktails and was again pleased with the outcome. (Hypothesis: The sweeter/weird taste of Diet Coke better masks the unpleasant taste of alcohol than regular Coke, thus making cocktails more palattable and easier to consume, thereby leading to greater overall alcohol consumption and a more enjoyable evening, while still consuming fewer calories. Tested and confirmed! Go scientific theory and methodology!) It wasn't a particularly eventful evening for me but I did get to chat up Che's cousin about living in NYC and pulled off a better than expected ass-grabbing joke. Then, as expected, the night ended in bottles of water, piles of puke, and spitting out of the car window.. but none of that from me, so it was fine.

After the last two nights I decided to make today domestic day which was supposed to be lots of cleaning and laundry and all the other things I've been saying I'll do but haven't done. Instead I woke up late, took a long nap, and barely managed to clean the fridge out a little, do a load of laundry and put some clothes away. But baby steps, right?

Back to the grind tomorrow.. And by grind I mean a leisurely breakfast at my desk and quiet morning where I'll likely be the only one in my section in. Ahh the working life is good. So so much better. But more on that another time.

I really am not very good at this. I routinely encounter things that make me think "I should blog about this," only to put it off until all relevance is lost and I can't remember what I wanted to write about it in the first place. Prime examples of this: 1) My most recent trip to New York; 2) my trip home from New York in which I saw Danny Glover at JFK and watched the worst MTV Video Music Awards ever; 3) the afforementioned bad VMAs; and 4) well, I don't really remember, but some other stuff. Those have all long passed so I guess I'll just start fresh and try to stay current.

Tonight I went to my first Member Exchange with the Bureau. It's a chance for our members to show off what they do and network with each other and Bureau staff so we can get an idea of what about them we should be recommending, etc. Mostly though it's a chance to get free snacks and booze. Work perk! And I actually got paid overtime for it. Double work perk! I wasn't sure of what to expect and how much who knows who there'd be, but everyone actually was pretty nice (with the exception of that Trader Vic's witch... I won't get into that). I got to taste some yummy treats (mini brioche roll with duck confit, and crustini with melted bri and sauteed portabello mushrooms--second time this week for that one) and wash it down with a delicious Bacardi and DC, all while practicing my schmoozing and turning on the after working hours charm.. Not bad for a Thursday, really.

Similarly, Tuesday after work we went to the Presidio venues showcase.. I wasn't sure of what to expect of the venues--which I guess is why they had it in the first place--but can I just say.. beautiful! Okay, maybe not the most goreous place on earth, or even in the city, but the venues definitely, definitely had charm. One so much so I wouldn't at all be opposed to getting married there. (No pressure..) And again, free eats and alcohol. The food that night was actually a little underwhelming but I did have the crustini with brie and mushrooms and some delcious caviar on a "little piece of weird toast." Fun times.

When I first started this job I thought that one of the definite perks was not having to work after hours at all and really sticking to that 8:30-4:30, so I was a little less than excited about having to go to these site visits and member events. But now... well.. if they're all going to be like this then I'm definitely there. Oh, and to top it all off, or rather, to kick it all off, last week I got a half bottle of wine from one of my favorite wineries just for going to a meeting and sitting there. How awesome is that... Who needs free food when there's free liquor!.. Though there is an ungodly amount of pastry that comes our way....

I think I'm gonna like this job....

Now with improved taste!

I don't mean to sound like a chester or anything but what's up with high school boys these days!? Hello!! I was watching guilty pleasure Laguna Beach and it's sort of boring because the girls are all bitches and not terribly interesting bitches, but those little 16- and 17-year-old boys have bodies! One of them even has a cute face to match. Is that what high school boys look like now? I'm trying hard to remember if boys looked like that when I was actually in high school oh so many years ago and I'm really learning towards no. There were a select few who I definitely couldn't complain about, but in retrospect, they just don't measure up to the current crop. I suppose though that like all guys who had hot bodies in high school, they too will let it go and start to get handles and bellies but won't have a cute face to fall back on. That just tells me that I need to get one of these high school boys while they're in their prime.. Though this is California.. I guess at 18 they aren't over the hill yet. And man I've really become a chester. It was one thing when I was 23 and t[he]y were 19 (hahah.. who am I kidding??), but 18 and 25 is even more ridiculous. Now I just sound like pervy guys in their mid and late 20s who want to date 18-year-old-girls.. (Are your ears burning Chad Michael Murry??)

Hot bodies aside, I will confess that I have a completely inappropriate crush on 16-year-old singer-songwriter Teddy Geiger, which I was told was inappropriate because a) he's 16 (that's fair), and b) he's Teddy Geiger. Ouch. I justify it with the fact that he's basically like little John Mayer but without that mop of gross hair that JM has amassed. That and Kristen Cavallari was in his first video so he must have some street cred, right? And yes, by street cred I mean Laguna Beach water-front sidewalks/trashy blond coked-up Hollywood wannabe starlet street cred. Anyway, I digress... the point is.. high school boys, new and improved.

A Round From the Keg of Glory

So much for reviving the blog. I would say that I tried but I lie enough about other things, why lie about this too... jk?

Anyway, last weekend while I was forced to volunteer (oxymoron if ever there was one..) I had my second minor celebrity photo-op of the year with the hottest politician around, Mayor Gavin Newsom himself. (I'll get around to posting the picture later once I actually get the file.) I was looking at the printed copy I have and he's really not that good looking. I mean, okay, he's definitely charming and dashing and approachable and well-groomed and tall and... yeah okay, I'd make out with him.. not my type, but I'd totally make out with him.. that'd DEFINITELY secure my vote...

I've been (and still am, actually) in a training class all week. The class is sort of boring and way more comprehensive than I'll ever need, but it's kick ass to not be in Hong Kong Central and be able to understand everything being said and not smell leftover Chinese restaurant every day. KICK ASS. But ahh only two more weeks of that.. which is the real big news.. (Sorry Gavin..)

NEW JOB BITCHES! Yeah, I know that I haven't been at my current job very long but I was dunzo with it a long time ago. (Ask S, Bakes, or Other Me, it was not pretty..) My current bosses are, without question, going to kill me, but it'll be worth it. Two more weeks of poop and then I'm on a plane and it's all behind me... Hurrah! And now I get two weeks of crazy list making... my favorite kind! Look out, 2nd Annual Bacon and Avacado NYC Tour (sort of)!

In my week at this training class I've had to find new places for lunch. I have, of course, had some staples because there's always a Lee's around and so is the Ferry Building, but I've also had an intro to Specialty's. There are two near my office but for one reason or another I've never tried it. O-M-G. I was totally missing out. Aside from the delicious fresh baked good smell that comes wafting out every morning from all the scones, cookies and sweet and savory rolls, they have an awesome yogurt cup. Yes, I said yogurt cup. I've developed something of an obsession for vanilla yogurt over the last month or so, and theirs is off the yogurt hook. It's a 12-oz plastic cup with strawberries on the bottom, then filled most of the way with yogurt, then topped with crunchy delicious granola. AND, it comes with a spoon already inside and cutely sticking out the straw hole of the lid. It's so cute and perfect and delicious. It's well worth the $2.75. Also, if you're looking for a savory roll recommendation, I'd go with the potato cheddar.. I think that says it all... Delicious!

Almost lunch time!

Happy Belated to Rich and Bacon and Happy Upcoming to Nicole and Thom-with-an-H.

After a gluttonous Thursday night, Friday, night and all day Saturday (yum-o barbecue food!), Sunday was almost entirely slothly until a borderline late 'Pirates.' I know it's gotten some bad reviews and people are not loving--though all evidence to the contrary, biggest opening weekend box office in history--but I really liked it. I understand people's beef with it, but I thought it was frickin funny.. Though to be quite honest, I felt a little like a nut case when I found myself laughing at things that it didn't seem like other people were laughing it.. Maybe it's just cuz I'm that much smarter than everyone else and have a great love of random swearing in Chinese...

If you check out 'Pirates' make sure you get there early. There are some really good previews. I, unfortunately, missed the preview for Transformers, but I'm not a huge nerd (in that way) so I was okay with it. I was, however, fortunate enough to see the preview for Invincible. Sam had already given me a heads up on it so I wasn't super surprised to see it and I was a little excited, but I had no idea it would look that good. The story looks good and it looks like it's done well and written well, and it doesn't hurt that it stars Hottie McSteamy, but really, I love football movies. I don't know why, but I do. My understanding of football is just about par with my understanding of statistics, but for some reason, I am a nut for football movies. Can't get enough of them. Remember the Titans, Rudy, Varsity Blues, Necessary Roughness.. Love 'em. I was so excited about the preview for Invincible that was literally grinning and a little part of me thought, 'Screw Pirates, show that!!!' Sadly I will have to wait a little while..

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Work is work, I can't complain. No, I definitely could, but I'll refrain....
It's like I'm Dr. Frickin Seuss..

A Haiku By Delia Zee
NAIL CLIPPING
AT WORK
only at SHE

I'm really glad that I came to work today. I'm really glad that my boss is out and she left me a whopping 10 minutes worth of work to do that I asked for on friday, and I'm glad there are sooo many people online to talk to right now and that there's just soo much to look at on craigslist.. Really glad.

I knew my boss wasn't going to be in so I made sure not to get to work early like I normally do, especially since I didn't even think I'd have the ten minutes of work. By 10 o'clock I had eaten cereal and nearly finished my tea. By 10:30 I had finished my tea, my work, and a few of today's New York Times headlines. By 11 I had checked all my mail, someone else's blog, and all the jobs categories and key words I normally search. Not to mention having played a crap load of minesweeper.

I really don't know why I had to come to work today. I would much rather have had the day off and not been paid for it. I'm totally fine with taking time off and not getting paid for it. That seems fair to me. I'm not working, you don't have to pay me. I'm totaly fine with that. I'd much, much rather have the time off. But since I have to be here, I most certainly want to be paid for it. And at this point there's nothing I can do about it except take a long lunch and leave a few minutes early, so I might as well do everyone a favor and shut the hell up about it..

Against my better judgement I went shopping and eating all weekend. Saturday was made up of ham cheese avacado sour cream chives bacon on english muffin/hot link mushroom onions eggs over potato skillet/pancakes followed by jcrew and target and finished with fish cake fried bean curd udon. Frickin delicious! Sunday started with grilled chicken burger with everything and honey mustard plus chili cheese fries and coke, and ended with new purse new jeans new underwear new swim suit. It was a pretty good weekend. And this weekend, unlike the two previous ones, did not include me consuming far more alcohol than I should without noticing until much later..

Lunch time!! AWESOME!!

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Overheard in SF:

Old Lady 1 to Old Lady 2 in prototypical old lady voice: It's called... "Best..." "Best of Show." No, "Best in Show."
Old Lady 2: Ohh..
Old Lady 1: Have you heard of "Spinal Tap?" It's a docu- no, mockumentary.

Delia: I hope that's not blood...

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I changed the name of my blog because I'm finicky like that and also because there is one bus driver who for at least the last 4 times I've had him has called me princess. When I get off I say to the bus driver, whomever he or she is, in my politest voice, "Thank you. Have a good (time of day)." And this one particular bus driver responds with "You're welcome Princess." What the eff is that?! And of course, my sassholes of friends and boyfriend think that this is just hilaaarious because I'm just such a princess all the time that even the bus driver knows it...... Ha-ha. Fine, if they're gonna call me princess, I'm just gonna have to act the part.... Watch out!

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Yesterday as Bacon was looking at pictures of Tara Patrick's just shy of naked ass in FHM I grabbed a copy of Maxim and read about the world's most horrifying pet. Turns out that it is not the star nosed mole (thanks a lot for that one, S..) but instead it is the hyena. And apparently in I forget where in Africa (Nigeria?) , there are these hyena men who keep them as pets and are like minstrels and travel around and scare the crap out of people by wrestling with the hyena's and then having their baboons do tricks and annoy the crap out of people until the give them money. I didn't know this but I guess hyenas have no problems attacking humans and can devour an entire zebra from running and kicking to blood-stained ground in all of five minutes. AND! The guy who they interviewed for the piece said he was involved in a case where some kid let a hyena into his tent and the hyena ate his head!!! HIS HEAD! Grossest thing ever! Anyway, it was fascinating. I guess there really are articles to read in Maxim...

Here we go with part 1 of n for today... It's totally going to be that kind of day..

On my way to work this morning an older gentleman got on the bus decked out in full leather/pleather pants, short-sleeved button-up shirt, shoes, and hat. Yes, let's not forget the hat. It was quite a sight for 8:15.

This morning I heard a commercial on the radio for Auto Trader that was voiced by none other than Christian Slater. Apparently he's voiced more than a couple characters in his day, but an Auto Trader commercial?? Has it really come to this man? (And yes, I am fully aware that commercial voice overs pay HUGE, but still..) You were Lt. Cmndr. Jack Reese for crying out loud! Not to mention Untamed Heart, Gleaming the Cube, and Pump Up the Volume.. Okay, I guess he did sort of peak in the 90s. But he's due for a come back AND he was mother effing Jack Reese! He got Donna! No more Auto Trader commercials Christian, no more!

I've recently been introduced to Vitamin Water. I like it. It's water that tastes like fruit juice but contains absolutely no juice whatsoever. Yes, it worries me, but I like it nonetheless. What I think I like most though is that on the label it says "for best results, stick it in the fridge." Thanks for that tip, Glaceau, producers of Vitamin Water. Without that on the side I'm really not sure I would've known what to do, and certainly not how to fully maximize my VW drinking experience.... Really though, it's good.

When I got into this office and I was the first one again, I decided I would leisurely eat my bagel and the check my mail and do all that stuff, and then I would start doing actual work (if you can even call it that) when my boss came in... My boss called a little while ago and said she wouldn't be in until this afternoon.. Grreat. Even if I wanted to ask for something to do there isn't anyone here to give me anything.. Great.

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From Other Me to me: You are random today.. I mean, extra random.

Don't I know it...