Things about TV:

I've been sucked back in. I've been all over the premiers of everything and I must say, I'm somewhat impressed with TV. There was that whole tv-less lull I went though at the end of spring quarter, and then nothing new all summer, and now here I am all up in it again. And it's not just the usual Friends and whatever else. Tonight was of course Friends, Will and Grace and ER, but it was also Ed, West Wing, and coming up Alias, The Practice, Scrubs, maybe Third Watch... Am I the perfect target audience or what? But damn, some of it is hella good tv.
About ER tonight: The Indian chick from "Bend it Like Beckham"... can I just say, lucky ass girl! Man, to have Makai Pfifer smile at me and say "Damn girl.."... that's a good good day. I'd be his 'med student' (and his med student) any day.
Big ups to Tommie for calling and telling me about the thing on John Mayer on ABC. I'm ashamed.. I shoulda known. I'm a bad obsessed friend. But I got to see it thanks to him. It was good. Cute. Nothing really new or super great, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Although (back to ER) it made me miss the part about "heart-wrenching call from the edge" about Luca being dead or something. Is that what it said? Cuz he looks alive in next week's one. What's going on? I want to know now. Damn ER for getting good again...
I have a guilty pleasure show. (Other than Boy Meets World, that is.. That's everyone's guilty pleasure show.. except JP. Sister sister, right? hehe) That show with Jennie Garth on the WB, What I Like About You. Somehow I started watching it and now I rather like it. I have to give it to Amanda Bynes.. she's pretty good. WB sitcoms.. who knew.

Things Not About TV:
We got a dog today. For real. Hella random. My grandparents took my cat into the vet on monday and then they went to look at the adoption center while they were there and saw this little shih tzu that they liked. Yesterday they went back and ended up filling out the paperwork and then today we went in and came back with a dog. So random. He's 2yrs old, pretty playful, got a lotta spunk in him. He's not my ideal dog but he's fun. And yes, in case you're wondering, I will be able to keep this one (jerks). In fact, I think this one is not entirely belonging to me and I'm really only the interim caretaker when my grandparents are out of town. But whatever. We'll see how things go.

It got cold again. What's up with that? I didn't have nearly enough time to relish in all that stuff I said I was gonna relish. Damn that. I want more beach time. More beach time!

I need a job. I need some source of income. As of late money has only been going out, and going out fast. Which I wouldnt mind so much if some of it were coming back in. But it's not. So I'm gonna have to find a job. And I fear that it may have to be a crappy one. But if it's what I must do in order to support my oh-so glamorous lifestyle.. then I must. That and I need to get on this internship thing. I was supposed to start like two weeks ago but blah blah haven't started yet. But I want to! ARGH! (That's my inner-pirate.)

With the help of Kristin I've realized that I have a new obsession. It's with lace. Make of that what you will...

It's hot. Hotter than it should be. Just past comfortable, edging into irritable. It's the kind of heat that during the day you want nothing but to lay completely still, but even that is too hot. So you seek solace in the shower. But that can only last so long. You retreat to cooler places in the house, try to escape to the beach, and take refuge in the air conditioning of a car. But it's still hot. There's just no getting around it. It has its merits though. The tan gets better, the city looks as pretty as ever, and clothes that are a little too revealing are completely, one-hundred percent appropriate.
And the nights. The nights are good. It's still hot. Hotter than a night in the bay should be. But it's nice. It's nice to have all the windows open and listen to the sounds of the neighborhood flutter in as a reminder of the breeze blowing in. It's the kind of night where you want so badly to be with someone else, but at the same time the thought of body heat makes you glad to only be in the company of ice water and the oscilating fan that shakes and rattles in the corner. It's the kind of night and the kind of heat that drives you to utter madness, and at the same time induces a state of total calm. Nights like these are so rare you're not really sure what to do with them, and you wonder what everyone else is doing with them. Every now and then the smell of the air says bar-bq, but not everyone can be bar-bq-ing. You know that somewhere someone is drowning in the heat. It's so hot and they are so uncomfortable that they just don't know what to do with themselves. Somewhere else someone is making the very most of it. Taking advantage of the heat and having that perfect night.
Me, I'm somewhere in between. I'm enjoying the heat, trying to make the most of it before it turns to winter when the bay area fog and rain are once again upon us and all of this slips into that place where once vivid dreams go to die as they fade out of memory. I will enjoy in sunny mornings that are pleasantly warm by 7:30 am. I'll savor the cool soothing feeling of aloe on my skin and take care too keep my tan as long as possible as a reminder of nights like this. And above all, I will relish in the madness and the calm that comes with nights like these.

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Big 22nd birthday shout to Illy.

Today I saw the most beautiful Asian man. He was the kind of guy that restored my faith in the existence of truly good-looking guys. The kind that you look at once and don't ever wanna stop looking at. The only thing though--and this should probably be a pretty big thing to hold against him--is that I saw him on Tail Daters. (Yes, I watch Tail Daters from time to time. It was a slow day.) He was paired up with a moderately attractive, big-boobed girl who was basically a bitch. Although to be fair she did preface the date by saying she was gonna be a bitch if she didn't like him. But what was not to like? He was gorgeous and sarcastic as hell. Every girl's dream. But I felt so bad for him. This girl was just not being cool at all. Anyway, I just had to mention that. It's been a while since I've seen a really, really cute guy.. Umm.. I mean.. that I didn't already know and was friends with.. Hey, I bet he's in my friendster network. Oh I did not just say that....

Been reading other people's blogs and xangas and stuff. Theirs are both funnier and more introspective than mine. This blog really and truly does suck.

So many little things... I'll start with the most recent..

Stinkin Padres. The Giants played them tonight, the last time the Giants ever play at the Q in SD. They rocked 'em last night, shoulda done the same tonight, right? Yeah except they didn't. It wasn't a bad game. Even went to 10. That was cool. And it was especially cool when JT Hottie hit the solo hr to put us up. Which, by the way, I felt coming. He was hitless all night and I just felt that it was the sweet at-bat for him. So he hits it out. And of course the cut the bleachers to see who catches it. I paid a little extra attention because I was told to look out for someone at the game. So I looked. At this point it would make sense if I said I saw said person as they caught the ball and whoa isn't that weird. Yeah, that would make sense. Except that didn't happen. Instead, the guy who caught the ball was a guy who I'd sort of met a couple of times and who was in HELLA of my comm classes in college. wtf?? I was really not expecting that. In fact, come to think of it, I hadn't ever expected to see that guy again, let alone catching JT Hottie's hr ball on tv! Anyway, in case you care, the Giants then went on to lose 4-5 in the 10th. I had a feeling... I figured that it would either be three up, three down and we'd walk away with it easy, OR, if they got on, that was the end of it for us. They got on. Damn that.

Spent a good few hours at the beach getting more than my daily requirement of vitamin D. Now I don't have to drink milk! Yay. Take that dairy farmers of America. The only problem now is that I could do with some vitamin E and aloe if ya know what I'm sayin.. Yeah, may have underestimated the hue and and saturation of my skin tone. It's that bright outdoor light. Tricksy. The beach was great though. Haven't really been to the beach just to sit and sun in far, far too long (especially considering where I used to live. What the hell were we doing??) While at the beach I saw an abundance of babies and dogs, the two populations that never have to work, as Lisa put it. Apparently having one or both of the aforementioned was a pre-req to the beach today. I didn't get the memo about that, but Lisa said she did. I think that's why I was there.. or something.. *raised eyebrow.* Sitting at the beach I really wished I had taken advantage of the beaches in San Diego. I could've learned to frickin surf, or at the very least had a better tan. One of the more regrettable things of my college career. Among others. Which I also spent a bit of time considering while I watched the dogs, the parasurfers, and the parade of sailboays, all with John Mayer lulling me into a beachy, contemplative trance. Which of course resulted in the sunburn. Good with the bad I guess..

Got a letter from Nina today. (Haay Nina! Now I know you're reading my blogs!) That was fun and exciting. I think I'm going to try to correspond with more people via letter. I tried to start up some email ones with a couple people the other day but I haven't gotten anything back. Probably won't either. Letters are even more unlikely but at least I'd have a reason to break out the stationary every once in a while. Let's see how long I can keep at this, be it email or regular mail...

"Interview" tomorrow. Should probably get to sleep soon. And by "interview" I don't mean secret-love-affair-rendezvous, I mean it's not a serious interview and it's really more of a meeting but I definitely need to suck up like it's an interview. Regardless, I should get to bed soon. All that relaxing at the beach was tiring. Who knew vitamin D intake could take some much out of you.

"What is the opposite of 'empowerment,' Freesia?"
"Yup, that's what it is.

Been listening to John Mayer's Heavier Things pretty much all day and all night. Well no, not when I was out and not when I was watching tv, but I've still spent a pretty good amount of time listening to it. It's good, good stuff. It's a little different from the first album, but still some quality listenin. One thing that scares me though is the thought that any of these songs (one in particular) may have been inspired by Jennifer Love Hewitt. I shudder at the thought. *shudder.* See. I'm just gonna assume that all of these are JLH free so that I may live a happier life. And to lead an even happier life, I'm gonna assume that some of them may have even been inspired by me... Ahh if only..

Went shopping with my grandma today. Didn't really want to but she gave me the whiney/desperate/pleading voice.. (See it's not my fault... it's genetic..) Wasn't too bad. Ended up getting a few things, all totally on a whim and none of which I needed. But I still got them of course. And I'm happy with them. I've been spending quite a bit of money lately but for some reason it hasn't bothered me. I'm sure it will soon, but for now I'm good. I really think I should find a job soon, if only to support my oh-so glamorous lifestyle.. and have something other than shopping to fill my time.

Started doing my first homework assignment tonight. That was weird for so many reasons. 1) It was strange to type a heading and have homework to do again. I guess those days aren't over with afterall. 2) It was strange to be able to write about John Mayer for homework. Yes, I'm writing about John Mayer for academic purposes. School is good. 3) The strangest of all is that I'm starting early. Really early. I got the assignment last night and it isn't due until next tuesday, yet there I was, typing away. Granted I didn't finish, and I only started it to take my mind off other things, but I stated early nonetheless. Maybe some things do change.. How odd.

The highlight of my day: learning about pigmania. Yeah I said pigmania. More on that if I ever get to play.

I meant to get up early this morning so I could run out and buy the new John Mayer album and then run the rest of my errands. I did wake up early. Unforunately, I also went back to sleep and found nothing early about when I got up. I started doin my stuff and all in all the time was made up for since I went with Lisa and there were no buses involved. And in retrospect it was worth staying up later than I had planned last night for a rather interesting conversation/informational session on the nature of guys and the two heads they think with (that being the little one and the big one.. for more on this see Lisa's blog). So I got the new John Mayer album and when I was finally on my way to class I was able to indulge in it. Sadly it doesn't take me that long to get there so I didn't get to go through the whole album. Coming home from class I opted to walk the last leg instead of wait for the bus. It actually would've been faster to wait since the bus passed my by almost immediately, but I didn't care. It was great to be lost in the music bundled in my sweatshirt and jacket, walking home through the dark and fog. It was one of those moments when I could appreciate the cold. There's just something special about the cool damp night air hitting your face with your body all warm, getting lost in the melody and lyrics that more and more are finding their way inside you, bringing out things you hadn't even realized were there. It was just too bad that it was all interrupted when I was walking down the shadey path that is the shortcut into my neighborhood and came upon four somewhat thuggish looking guys. It startled me to say the least, and not to be paranoid, but I was careful to keep alert. A girl's got to be careful. Once I finally let go of the paranoia I was just about home. Now here I am with Heavier Things on repeat... He just does something to me...

Spent a good part of tonight reading my old blogs. Some of them weren't working though. That bugs me. It's interesting to read them over. I know I've said this before because I've read other old stuff over and had the same feelings, but I will say it again: it's weird. It takes me back to that place so quickly and reminds me of so many things that I'd all but forgotten about. They didn't really say anything super special (although there were some with some secret between-the-lines content) so I'm not feeling particularly emotional about anyhting, but I am curious as to what those ones that aren't working say. Maybe I should look into that. Maybe I should go to bed.

Earlier today I was asked if I was afraid to download things from Kazaa now. I said no, because the truth is, I'm not. I have that invincible mentality as far as my pirated software and music is concern. But today Kazaa got the better of me. No, my computer wasn't infected with some virus to wipe out my entire hard drive, nor did the FBI bust down my front door to confiscate my little laptop, but I was still bested. I was trying to download as much of the new John Mayer album as possible (due in stores tomorro! go get it!) because I spent a good while listening to it on MTV's The Leak (No, that's not a plug for MTV. I swear that's the only good thing they've done in years.. but whatever..) and decided I should try to get some of the songs tonight... because I really just can't bare to wait any longer..?? Anyway, so I started to download pretty much the entire ablum and managed to get a good seven or so songs. I added them to my playlist with a quickness and was all excited to start playing them, learning the words, obsessing.. the usual stuff. So I play the first one. Whaddaknow.. it's accoustic Your Body Is A Wonderland.. So I play the next one. Again, YBISW. And the next, and then next, and still the next. I get to the final song and much to my delight, Bigger Than My Body actually starts to play. So I'm happy for 20 seconds until I'm met with an incrediblely horrible screeching noise. The only thing that sounded worse was the sound of my poor heart breaking as I realized that I was entirely without new John Mayer material and all the solace and comfort I had hoped t find in it in the next few hours was lost. Now the only thing I have to take comfort in is old material and fudge. Not that there is anything wrong with either of those. They just aren't the new album, that's all.

Heavier Things by John Mayer in stores September 9th. Go get it.

Again inspired by my new secret muse I find the urge to blog. That and having watched Gangs of New York. I just have to get this out of the way and say that I was disappointed. I had heard mixed things but I expected to at least respect it as a film. And I suppose I did that. But that was entirely overshadowed by my "What the ef??" five times in five minutes. Happens though I guess.

The funny thing about my new muse is that I'm really only reminded of my old muse, who was really not a muse at all. Actually I'm reminded of a few things, none of which I can write about. Maybe I should be writing this in the top secret keep out diary with flimsey, all to pickable lock on it, but I'm not. The past few weeks have been relatively interesting for being utterly unremarkable. I've seen and hung out with more than a few people I half expected to never see again in this lifetime. I was excited about things tha I'm usually not into, and yet a little nonplussed about things that I usually really like. I've had to bite my tongue on more than one occasion to keep from saying things I know I shouldn't, and then gone on to wonder when, if ever, it will be okay to say those things. I've decided that there are certain people whom I would not mind terribly if I didn't see them again, so long as I know they are doing well, while others I've missed dearly for no particular reason, and still others fell into a territory some might call indifference. (Which category do you fall into??) Should I feel bad about that? Should I feel bad about the people whom I've dubbed as "superfluous"? They might be superfluous to my buddylist, but that surely does not make the superfluous on the whole. Who am I to judge? I can only imagine how many people I've become, or maybe even have always been, superfluous to. Gee, that's a shitty feeling. Why did I write that? That just brings me back to thinking about things that must remain in the realm of the unspoken, i.e. in my head. The funny thing is, I don't think anyone really reads this. Especially not anyone who I might write about.

I think it's time to meet new people. Not that there is anything wrong with the old people. On the contrary, I love the old people. I just think it might be time to meet some new ones. (No I don't have anyone in mind.. not at all.. *ahem*) There are a plethora of things feeding into this meeting new people thing, but none that I want to get into. So I'll just say that meeting new people, or at least expanding my "peoples" is my mission. Of course I am 110% talk and while therefor not meet anyone and instead only continue to lose people, but hey, that's life.

I have no reason to stay up and no reason to go to bed. I'll opt for the former and do the latter.

I've been reading someone else's blog..er..xanga, and now more than ever I think that this blog does suck. Thanks a lot stranger who shall remain nameless.

The other night I was waiting for the bus at Forrest Hill Station when a man struck up a conversation with me with three simple questions: 1. Did I smoke; 2. What time did the station close; and 3. Why will a woman stay with a man whom she knows to be obviously bad and bad for her. I couldn't help but laugh to myself. A complete stranger posed the question of all questions that I have spent a greater part of my young adult life trying to answer. My reply: "I wish I knew." He proceeded to tell me about his sister and her drama with some guy who has 12 kids, three by her and some other baby's mama something. I was glad not to be her. But then he asked me what I would do. I said I'd probably just walk away from it all. That's what I said anyway. But I started to wonder what I would actually do. Would I walk away? Would I keep being there to pick up the pieces like this guy's sister had done? Would I be able to bow out knowing that he was with some other chick? It's one of those things where I really wonder how I'd handle myself in that situation but hope to God I never actually find myself in it.

Checked out the Chagall exhibit at Moma yesterday. It was the bit of culture between Jollibee's and The Wade Robeson Project and Macauly Culkin/Barbara Walters interview. (Although I like to think those are other types of culture, equally important to some degree.) Anyway, Chagall was pretty good stuff. After a while it sorta starts to feel the same. Same styles, same figures, same poses, stuff like that. But personally it was made up for in the detail. Scanning the room and just looking at the paintings from afar didn't really do them justice. I know some of those artsy-fartsy people like to stand back and take it all in while swirling wine around in their glasses, eating canepes and talking about the artist's emotion and how it's depicted while both maintaining and breaking art norms and the influences of cubism/impressionism/realism/surrealism/abstrict/neo-classical blah blah blah-ism, but personally I liked to get really close and look at the smaller scenes within the larger scenes and the detail that Chagall put into those. The detialing was an interesting contrast to the larger subjects that lacked in that area. And I couldn't help but wonder why he put in what he put in. Why those choices?

Huh. Who knew that would lead into 25th Hour? Yeah, watched that last night. I had heard mixed things but overall expected to like it. I wasn't disappointed. As far as straight plot goes, it was a little bit lacking. The story was there but something about it just wasn't quite compelling enough. I'm going to attribute that to lack of character development and lack of background. While both those sound like bad things, I'm gonna say that they actually helped in emphasizing the message of the movie--or at least what I took to be the message of the movie. (I think I can say things like this because I took a handful of film classes in college and now I think I'm all film-buff. Really I'm full of crap.) As far as I was concerned, in my feeble interpretation, the underlying/overarching (huh, complete opposites, mean the same thing.. go figure..) message was about making choices. About what we want vs. what we know is right vs. what we feel like we have to do vs. instincts; and about how our choices in the past influences what we do now and the choices we have to make because of past choices. I guess in a way it's not something that hasn't been presented on screen, stage, page, song, whatever a thousand times before, but I think they did a good job of pointing it out. And it got me thinking.. Yes, of course it got me thinking. Doesn't it always? Have you met me? I guess it just got me thinking if I've made some of the right choices in my life and if I'm making the right ones right now. Nothing major. Nothing like snitching on a friend and drug-dealer or going to jail versus running from the law for the rest of my life and never going home, nothing that major. But things that in the small, tame world I call my own have seemed pretty important. I really don't know where I'm going with this. Just a mood I guess. Thanks in large part to my new muse. Ah that you knew that you were, annonymous muse...

One of yesterday's top quotes: He was a skater boy, he said see ya later virginity.