I heard somewhere that you're not supposed to make a toast with water. If you do you lose your spirit. Maybe that's where I went wrong.

My grandparents come back on thursday. I was told I need to make the most of my remaining free time. To which I said I have no large group of friends to throw a party, nor have I managed to line up that endless string of men coming in and out of my house at all hours. The truth is, in the Month that they've been gone I haven't done much of anything. In fact, I think I've gone out far less than when they were home. I have, however, brushed up on my ghost-writing.

All this time at home has allowed for plenty of TV watching and reflection. But even with all the thinking I've done, I still haven't come up with anything new. Well, except that I guess all this time alone has made me a biatch. But that's besides the point. You'd think that maybe in the past month of thinking about stuff I'd actually come to some conclusions or come up with something.. but nope. I got nauthin. What a waste.

My dog has been barking like crazy at I don't know what in the very, very early hours of the morning. Not my favorite thing. I'm looking forward to my grandparents coming back so that they can tend to him when he gets annoying. And maybe he won't be so annoying cuz he'll be happy they're back. He has no loyalty to me. Jerk. Reminds me of all the other guys in my life..

...Speaking of which, that damn Y chromosome is driving me crazy again. Various Ys in various ways.

Cause if you won't let me fall for you
Then you won't see the best that
I would love to do for you
Instead you will be missing me when I go
Cause I'm bored of hangin out,
in your cold

Finally say Kill Bill v.1. Whoever I said I might not like it that much was wrong. So wrong. I was warned not to have expectations or listen to the hype, and I didn't. But even if I had I wouldn't have been disappointed. I loved just about everything about it. Not to sound completely cheezy and cliche and whatever else but it was the kind of movie that makes me wanna be a filmmaker again. Now I just need to see KBv2.

Amended list of things I want:
- All the stuff from the previous list, plus..
- See Kill Bill Vol. 2
- A part time job WITH benefits.
- A swanky night out (with___??)
- The Kanye West "All Falls Down" song
- To be rid of this damn writers block!

I'm about to admit some things I'm a little embarassed about, please don't hold them too much against me. Thank you.

I went to see "Girl Next Door" the other night. (I lower my head in shame.) It wasn't something I particularly wanted to see but I had nothing else to do and the company was good. But here's where it gets really embarassing... It was better than I expected. Maybe not worth seeing it twice (you know who you are), but it wasn't all that bad. Of course that might've been because I had no positive expectations whatsoever. I expected some cheezy teen sex comedy with junk shots and pop music overload. To my surprise there was some decent camera work and sequences and better still a kick ass sound design. Echo and the Bunnymen! Wtf? Hell yeah.

I was watching One Tree Hill last night and they had a "boy toy auction," in which one could, for upwards of $20, bid on and buy a guy for the night. This got me thinking a little. What if we had had such an auction in high school? Which guys would have been auctioned off? Would I have bid on a boy toy? How much would I pay? And didn't I know all the hot guys I wanted to know by senior year anyway? Yes, I had some cabin fever. I am shamed.

After months and months of jocking Tomv1's and hating on everyone else's--including the chick in the John Mayer video--I finally broke down and bought the "Please don't eat me" pig t-shirt. In my own defense I picked it out for Tv1 way back in July, pre-Wade Robeson, so it's not like I'm a bandwagon jumper. But I've still sold out to the Urban man...

I'm watching Leno right now and Jennifer Garner is on. She was talking about 13 going on 30 and mentioned the pinky swear. I'm bringin it back.

I was watching TV earlier and there was a commercial for tonight's OC. It was typical montage set to music, except that it was set to Hoobastank's "The Reason." I'm still jocking that song way too much but this time, for the first time, it made me sad. In all the times I've heard it before it never made me sad. But now I understand, Korean Alex who will likely never read my blog, I understand.

I was talking to someone earlier. We both mentioned that we were hungry and it occured to me that in the past we could've had dinner together. We could've mentioned we were hungry, talked about getting something to eat, tried to put the responsibility for chosing dinner on the other person (inevitably settling on carne fries and california burritos of course) and then had dinner and watched tv together. *Sigh* for days gone by. Then I had a thought that we might never have dinner together again.. *longer sigh.*

I walked out on a Giants game to go shopping. By walked out I mean turned off the TV. I felt a small tinge of guilt for leaving in 8th inning, but they were down by three and it just didn't look like they were coming back. So I got the hell out of the house and went shopping. Sure enough, they didn't come back. I dropped a bunch of money and bought way more than I intended to, but I'm sure they'll be some returning. And I was in need of some shopping therapy.

The reading machine has totally been turned off. I've been buying more books but haven't really been reading much. I should do that.

Things I want/want to do:
- Go to a Giants game.
- A burrito.
- Have japanese food, particularly sushi and sashimi... mmm...
- Visit Socal
- That shirt that says "Someone in San Diego loves me" (but I only want it from someone who is actually in San Diego.. thus implying..)
- "Love Actually" on DVD (two more weeks?)
- A massage.
- Scone from Tartine.
- Not to have to spend any money on any of those things. =oD
- More warm and sunny days.
- To not be such a biatch.
- The company of...

I've lost count of the number of days that I haven't done anything. Excluding visits to the vet, I think it's been about seven days now. Yesterday I did 'something' but it was just grocery shopping with my mom and dinner with my parents. Other than a few walks with my dog, a very significant portion of my time has been spent in my house, and more specifically, in my room. I get up by 8:30 every morning, take my dog out, feed my animals, eat breakfast, and shower, knowing full well that I'm not going to do anything the rest of the day. And to be honest, I don't particularly feel the need to do anything else the rest of the day. Even with the few errands I could run, I just don't feel like going out. I don't know when I became a self-imposed reculse. Maybe I'm developing a social disorder.

The truth is I'm pissed. I won't say why or at who, but I'm pissed. And it only makes me want to stay home and give everything a giant middle finger. I won't bring down anyone's happy, hearts and puppies attitude by getting into, but right now I'm pissed. That's all.