Broke the Code

I hopped on the bandwagon and read Da Vinci Code. Some ringing endorsements from certain people whose opinions I'm careful not to trust made me skeptical, but some endorsements from people whose opinions I do trust (a secret muse..) pushed it back to the middle of the road. And there are two copies in my house, so why not read it?

So I did. I was not disappointed. Dan Brown did some pretty impressive work. I won't get into it cuz I'm sure lots of people haven't read it, but I will say a few things. It totally read like a movie. A little too much so. Towards the end it got a little bit annoying, but it was forgiveable. All the historical and religious and symbology stuff was really interesting and the codes and riddles were cool and stuff, except.. they got a little easy at the end. I'm sure it was supposed to be like that to make the reader feel smarter and to make it go a little faster, but also keep you hooked to find out if you're right, but it was still a little annoying. I just wanted to know if I was right! Get on with the action and get to the puzzles! (And I think I just showed my true geek colors...) Anyway, now that I've read it I can't seem to find anyone to book club with, so someone hit me up so I can geek out for a minute. Also, if anyone can recommend some more books for me that'd be great. [Hell yeah book whore!.. bite me.]

Lately I've been nostalgic as hell. I thought it would pass but it hasn't. I can't look at a silver Xterra without getting a little teary-eyed. Aside from the people themselves, there are so many things that remind me of the people and of good times that I can't help but be reminded of it constantly. So just for my own trip down memory lane, here's a list of some of the things I miss about San Diego:

- Silver Xterra, silver Volvo, white Accord, green Tacoma, navy Corolla... my fleet.
- Roxy.
- Carne fries! (I can't stress this enough.)
- My desk (although I know it's got a good home.)
- Blue blankets.
- A stickered coffee table
- Long talks in the parking lot/in front of my apt.
- Running other people's errands.
- Geisel, 5th floor, West corner.
- Pat making me bagels.
- "In Da Club" on the radio pulling out of the Santana's drive through.
- Hella hours of DVDs.
- Believe it or not, boys yelling about up-hits and combos and smashes. (That one goes out to Mars and Fox in the 4-1-5 and 8-5-8, respectively.)
- Puzzles.
- My closet.
- The smell of the laundry room.
- Sitting on Pat's bed whining about various things.
- Calls from Tiff to check up on the progress of my paper.
- Random slumber parties.
- Curry.
- Spaghetti. *sigh*
- Billy's dictionary.
- Wednesday nights at Seau's/red hat sushi chef
- Impulse shoes buys at Nordstom Rack with Joey.
- Uncle Kenny and his repitoire.
- Giggles.
- "Tink. Tink. Tink."
- Late movies in the middle of the week in near empty theaters.
- "What are the saying??? What are they saying???"
- Grandma's cooking.
- Full-sized beds that I wasn't supposed to fall asleep on.
- Two pizzas: one hawaiian, one sausage and mushroom.
- The shirtless neighbor who drove me crazy.. in a good way.
- HELLA grocery shopping.
- Minute Maid Fruit Punch
- "Secret" rendezvous.
- Wake up calls.
- "Frou-frous."
- nights out in the SDSU hood.
- Walks to UTC on warm days
- Walks around the biggest block ever on warm nights.
- Absolutely living in my reefs.
- Muffin envy.
- Taco-burritos.
- Cutting class to eat/see a movie/go to the comic store/go to the post office/etc.
- The Little One, HBF, Love-of-my-Life Jr., Y-E-E, Eating Disorders... *sigh*
- The Cave
- Vaulted ceilings.
- Getting advice from Eric.
- BUNNIES!
- Doyle at dusk and daybreak.
- Curling up on the little couch with the slump in the middle.
- Hanging out from the middle of the night to early the next morning, or late the next afternoon.
- Talking way too late into the night.
- Good-bye hugs.

So there's this Special K commercial with steaks on a scale that's supposed to make you feel all fat so that you take the Special K challenge and eat hella Special K to lose 6 lbs or whatever. But it really just makes me wanna eat steak. Thanks a lot Kellogs.

Someone please explain this to me: Why is it that mediocre looking guys, decent guys, OK at best guys, think they are so above OK and even sort of cute girls. What makes them think they have the ground to be so judgemental about girls who probably wouldn't give them a second look, if even a first? I do not understand it. And secondly, what makes them think it's okay to talk about it in front of other girls? Tact, people. Tact!

Anyway, I can't stress enough how much I love West Wing. I'm watching it now. I've seen this episode, or parts of it, probably two or three times, and it never gets old. How hot are Josh and Sam?? When is the next West Wing marathon? And why do I not own the first season boxset??

I've been obsessed with this smack the penguin game. I've had it open for like 3 or 4 days since Sam gave it to me. Everyone else seems to be all over this too and I think it's helped me to find my profile soulmate. Not to mention get out some aggression. 596.3 baby!

Notable quotables of the week (courtesy LM):
"You are some fucked up shit."
"I don't know anything, I just eat pizza."

Kristin called me tonight to tell me that John Mayer was on Letterman. (I'm a bad fan.) I of course switched over immediately to watch and I was even more excited cuz he was playing with the band in the beggining so I thought, Sweet, he plays with the band and then does the new single. Kick ass! So I watched the whole show, and I forgave the lame guests (Ashton Kutcher and Paula Abdul) because hey JM was gonna play. But then, he didn't. There was no solo performance, no new single, nothing. Just a few extended shots and guitar rifts. Where was the "Clarity!?!" I really could've used some of that. So it turned out that I wasn't quite the happy camper that I thought I was.

I've spent a good portion of the night trying to clean my room. It's Chinese New Years so I'm obligated at least a little bit to really clean up. All I can say, how did I get so much crap?? Anyway, I'm not doing too well on the Things Imma Do In '04 (aka the resolutions) so I thought I'd make a list of...

Things Imma Do in 4702 (I think that's right although I dunno how reliable my sources are.)
- Keep on top of this clean room thing so it's not such a task come 4703
- Know my limits
- Keep my (stupid) mouth shut
- Read more
- Write more
- Own it.
- Watch less TV
- No new underwear of any kind, with the exception of free things or things associated with free things.
- Multivitamins
- Sleep earlier
- All the other things I previously mentioned about doing in '04.

'The Perfectionist Rooster - The "I can do better" Inspirer.
After the initial entertainment and novelty of the year has worn-off, Roosters find Monkey years shallow and irresponsible. The Monkey year's taste for socializing and parties, will greatly please the Rooster, but you may not appreciate the Monkey's sly tactics and attitude of superiority. Be most cautious participating in activities close to water. Single Roosters will have auspicious marriages if wedding bells ring between April and July. Enjoy simplicity and put everything into order another time. Best months of the year for Responsible Rooster's: April, May, June and July. Use extra caution during February, March, August and September.'

I'm going to Hawaii in March. That's a lot of water in a bad month. I'm doomed.

"..the world will not end if you tell the truth about how you feel."
--Since You Asked
Maybe the whole world won't end, but mine will. At least that's how it feels. And that's what always seems to happen. I tell the truth, I'm upfront, blunt, if you will, and it all goes to hell. Everyone always talks about how it's not good to hold things in and you have to let them out and crap like that, but I'm not so sure. I really don't see where it's gotten me. In fact, there are things that, if they were to spread to even one person, would be borderline apocalyptic. Seriously.
Alright, I guess I know that's not true. I guess I've always managed to pick myself back up and soldier on in one way or another, but that doesn't mean I want to do it again. I'm not brave enough. The reprecussions could be catastrophic and I just don't have the strength to deal with that anymore. I've been told that I'm strong because time and time again I'm faced with these situations that are utterly crushing and yet somehow I still manage to put myself back together and move on without being too jaded or too cynical or too scarred. But I tend to think it's the opposite. I'm not strong. If I were strong I wouldn't have let it happen again. I wouldn't have let my gaurd down, wouldn't have invested so much, would've taken some precautions. But I don't. And I'm weaker for it.
On the other hand, who am I to argue with an advice column? Part of me thinks I need to face this head on. Say everything I want to say and just see what happens. Could it really be that bad? Yeah, it could. But maybe I just need to deal with it. Maybe I should just purge all this shit that I've wanted to say for so long and then move on and be done with it. But when am I ever done with things that easily? Dammit. Why are things that are so petty and insignificant in the larger scheme of the world so difficult and so complicated? I guess the world really won't end one way or another, but MY world, the one that, as self-centered as this sounds, matters most to me right now, feels like it will come crumbling down if I go either way. Dammit. Dammit dammit dammit dammit dammit. (Classy, I know.) I give up and give in to sleep. (Dammit.)

"...it's common for one to "search one's heart," or to ask someone else to search his heart. That is not such a bad thing to do, but it takes much practice, and sometimes when you're young you can search your heart all you want and still not find anything you're looking for. It's best if one's heart is well-organized, with many places already having been well-searched in the past, labeled and remembered. But that takes time. When one is young, one's heart is new and full of unexplored, unlabeled spaces; searching one's heart may therefore be a baffling, overwhelming experience, like walking into Le Video in San Francisco. There are too many videos for one human being. Each one of those videos is a whole experience, and you can't possibly see them all, or even a fraction of them. The heart is like that: You search it but you can't recognize much because everything is new.

Then you get to be, say, 37, and it's different. Your collection is almost completely labeledand alphabetized. Then you have a different problem when searching your heart: You are hard-pressed to find any titles you haven't seen a few times already."

-- Since You Asked, www.salon.com

The List to end all lists.

I don't know who this guy is but he is on effing point. The way some of the Y-chromosomes behave I'd swear they don't know anything and have no common sense whatsoever, but now I'm lead to believe that if this guy knows ALL of these things, then rest of you must know at least some of them. If not, please PLEASE take note.

And in case anyone is wondering, for me personally..
#5 occured to me the other day as I was buying some cards for no reason at all.
#9 "Toepick." Yes. That's all there is to say.
#10 It's the nurturing in me. Cuz I'm "totally old school."
#18 I hate to admit it but OMG YES.
#27 I'm old school, I'm cliche, I don't care! I LOVE IT! (Thanks Pat, Sam, and Joey =oD)
#35 Mmmhmm...
#45 But I really need to not make jokes about that ish.
#49 All guys should know this one.
#51 *sniffle*
#52 *tear*

More things Imma do in '04:
- take more pictures
- be less of a biatch
- still chill the eff out
- less online, more phone, more in person
- more good nostalgia, less bad nostalgia
- better posture
- accumulate less shit!
- move the eff on!

Last night and today I had spaghetti. As far as I can remember, the last time I had spaghetti was in San Diego. If memory serves, I was at Billy's apartment and I was starving. I curled up in the corner of the big black pleather couch, like so many nights and so many meals before, and ate to my tummy's content. And before that was the spaghetti we made the day we drove up to Pat's hood in YL; and the spaghetti I made when Kat et al came over and brought me the pup; and the yummy spaghetti that Rinaldi made that I had when I snuck over to drop off a finals care package without being seen by the other two; and the first time I made spaghetti sauce from scratch that started a fun weekend that turned into Bad Weekend; and the spaghetti that Tom scammed me into making for him one random night; and so many other plates and bowls of spaghetti that I vaguely remember or have forgotten entirely. I remember thawing out ground beef in one side of our sink, waiting for water to boil in my big pot that got shuffled around from apartment to apartment until I no longer had it, our giant collander that we used for noddles for one person or 10. I still wonder how we ever managed to eat all 12 lbs of spaghetti from costco, twice. Homemade spaghetti was never really anything special before, just something to make in a pinch, something easy and yummy and that pleases all and is good for groups. It's still all those things, but now it's a little sentimental too. It reminds me of so much. Of my old apartment, the Other apartment, our couchless livingroom, and our tiny kitchen. And I can't help but think of al the things that happend there with all the people. Things that didn't seem to mean anything at the time, things I wish hadn't happened, things I pretend never did, things I still can't believe happened, things few others know about. And I really, really miss it.

I've been asked a few times what my New Year's resolutions are. And I haven't really had any thus far. I think I might now but I don't really like that whole idea. So this isn't my list of resoultions so much as it is my list of things to do this year. So here we go..

Things Imma Do In '04:
- get a job of some kind
- get more involved
- get my license
- respect the rules of The Chase
- clean my room and keep it that way
- chill the fuck out about.. stuff...
- spend less, save more
- "stop being so desperate".. whatever that means.. (bite me groove theif!)
- eat more veggies (angry or otherwise)
- add a fourth drink to the repitoire
- cook more
- slack less

"I can't stand looking at this chick in all pink (on tv)."
"Why don't you mute it then? MUTE IT!"

How much does it blow to start off the new year sick. I take it as an ominous sign. On the other hand, I'm hoping that if I get this out of the way now then that'll be my sickness for the year. Anyway, the recap:

I think the past few weeks can be summed in two words: Bars and Stones.
I think we all know I'm really not a big drinker and I'm not all that into going out a lot, but as of lately I'd say 80% of my nights have been spent at a place where alcohol has been served, and, for a while, about 60% of my days were spent at least in part at Stonestown. Ah the post-graduate holiday season.
But that's not the real recap... hmm.. where to begin..
A couple weeks back we celebrated Lisa's birthday at the Hush Hush Lounge. Before the drinking/dancing frenzy Lisa, Ali, and I had a lovely, yummy dinner at Charanga. The ceviche was great and oh those mojitos. Yum. As for the bar, let me just say fat Lowell reunion. Hella folks came out that I hadn't seen in forever, and hella folks that I just recently met. But it was really good to see all of them. The line of the night was, "Where's Lisa?" and some how in all of my trying to keep tabs on everyone I forgot to get faded. Oops. But it was good fun.
After that were more nights out at random bars, a break for Christmas Eve dinner, and then a trip to Dragon Lounge for a little Christmas/birthday drinky-drink. Then what? Hmm.. Hit up the Marina for a little yuppy bar hopping and seeing more high school and elementry school people. Then there was the trip up to Sac where I proudly held my own through a half-dozen pitchers of beer, a game of Kings, a short-lived game of quarters (take that Rich!) and a whole lot of numbers game. I think the key to that is to be really good at the numbers game so I never have to drink during that. That helps a lot. Anyway, Sac was good fun, inviting in the random black guy and all, and then it was back to the city for some more I dunno what. Then there was some touristy stuff and entertaining Lin, a chill-ass New Year's Eve party with some drunkish phone calls and a lot of semi-drunken taboo. All of which was followed up by getting sick and lovely dinner with my parents and some family friends. And now here I am and 2004 is just flying by. All of those things might've been a lot more interesting to read about had I written about them in a timely fashion, but oh well. I'll just have to get back into the blogging habit.. or whatever.